Northern Ireland Confidential

why I laughed my #$&* arse off friday

My National Public Radio methadone is BBC Radio 4, which is quite staid and proper, thank you veddy much. But Friday morning something quite curious happened: A news report about the first recording of a human voice became something of an event, at least in the confines of my car.

I was almost to work when the news piece aired: an intro, then the actual first recording -- which was pretty ethereal and bizarre -- and then the reaction of the anchor [called a news reader here], which started as measured and calm, but dissolved into laughter.

It was so wonderful and refreshing that I started laughing out loud in my car -- like when you were in study hall and saw someone else laugh, which made you laugh too. The other news reader came on and, in stentorian tones, announced, "It's 8:07" and moved on. But I had heard him snicker too -- he probably was the one who got her in trouble.

I wondered what had happened? Then I frankly forgot about it and breezed on with my day.

The people at BBC Radio 4 did not forget.

if i had a tv, this probably wouldn't have happened

I woke this morning to a very sunny sky. So I decided to walk to church. I had no deadlines before or after, so why not?

Sunday morning here is extremely quiet. I love that.

I was a bit surprised, when I set out for my walk, leaving more than enough time for the mile-long stroll, to see a fair number of other people rambling about.

And some of the restaurants along the main road showed signs of life as staff got ready for the day -- another unexpected sight.

I arrived with time to spare, so I took a few laps around side streets of the church, and was shocked to find some a bit seedy and derelict. So I was not surprised to find the doors of the church locked when I arrived about 15 minutes before the service.

Two young men were in the foyer and they let me in. They looked at me curiously. And I looked at them curiously. We were in a kind of etiquette Mexican standoff.

golden

There are a few things I am starting to miss about the good ole U.S. of A. Top of the list this week: Chick-Fil-A.

(The list does not include people -- that's a whole different roster.)

Yes, I do miss me some Chick-Fil-A. Amazingly, KFC is the predominant fast food chain I see here, with Burger King a distant second. I actually went through my first McDonald's drive-through in Derry / Londonderry [amended 28 March] yesterday, but it was under extreme duress. Seriously.

However, there is a pretty substantial list of things I do not miss. Top two this week:

• The NCAA tourney. So nice not to have to pretend to care, or to feign interest in a bracket, or to hear about it incessantly.
• Loudmouths on cell phones. I was standing with about 10 others in the aptly named Tomb Street office of the Royal Mail this morning, trying to pick up a package, and I experienced that lovely sensation ... silence. No one was talking to each other, or to someone on a cell phone, or even to themselves. Such behavior behaviour simply is not done, be it on the bus, in the airport lounge, on a queue. Americans, watch and learn.

resurrection

Last Easter was one of the three great days I experienced in South Carolina. It was a magnificent service -- packed congregation, robed choir, orchestra, a grand morning. I was in the choir and it was great to be part of such a majestic experience. We sang hymns that I know and love. Every element of the service was perfect -- exactly what I find to be most meaningful, and what is most traditional and beloved to me from my childhood.

This morning I woke up and had tea and hot cross buns and Cadbury's. I chose a silk jacket that I thought was the most spring-like. I put in contacts and wore make-up. I felt a little sad that I wouldn't have a chance to exchange the traditional greeting with my parents:

"Christ is risen."
"Christ is risen indeed."

elegant $olution

My poor colleagues have bravely endured my whining whinging about my inability to get Internet access at my flat. (The new alleged go-live date is 5 April. I am skeptical.)

"I just want a chip right in my neck," I said. "Wireless access 24/7, totally mobile."

One colleague suggested the next best thing. So off I went to Circuit City Currys and bought this slick device that uses a mobile phone signal to grab the Internet. It works in the park, on the bus (!), on the sidewalk footpath. So this weblog entry comes to you from my dining room table.

It probably would have been slightly less expensive to fly to your home with a Faberge egg and type this entry from your dining room table, but I don't care. I need to go read about "The Archers" on Wikipedia now. More later.

spa life

I'm in England today, no St. Patrick's revels for me. (Depending on who you talk to, it's not that big a day in Northern Ireland either.) I'm in a Marriott hotel that I hate to leave. It's nothing special but it has three things that my Belfast flat does not:

• television
• Internet
• a giant bucket of ice

I am enjoying all three simultaneously.

_____________

PS -- Happy birthday MCC! A shamrock hug from across the sea for you.

fortune favors the brave

Many were the nights in Nashville when I almost didn't go out to see live music because I was too tired or had too many other things to do ... but then I would say to myself, "You live in Music City, where music is plentiful and professional and free. If you don't do it now, when will you?" And I plunged ahead. Those nights often proved to be the most enjoyable of all.

A similar line of logic led me to a wee pub in the City Centre a few Saturdays ago. Upon learning that I lived in Nashville, a new acquaintance recommended that I go catch the act of his musician father, as he had recorded an album there some years ago.

So I called a cab (the driver was full of information, as always) to the City Centre, which was an absolute hive of activity. I was amazed at how many people were out and about -- it felt like a city. Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh.

So far, so good. But when the cab dropped me on a lonely street, and I saw that I needed to press a buzzer to gain admission to the pub, my resolve began to ebb. I listened to the music coming from inside the building. It sounded great. But what was I in for?

I stood there for a good 30 seconds, debating whether to press "redial" on my cell phone mobile or to press the buzzer. Just then the front door opened and people tumbled out, the last one holding open the door for me.

So I plunged ahead.

let your freak flag fly

Record this date: I needed a service completed in Belfast, I made a telephone call, the service was delivered to my satisfaction on the very same day.

I got my hair cut today, which is a minor miracle. I asked a well-coiffed woman in our office where she got her hair cut, and that sent me to the internet. I called the Belfast salon, and they gave me an appointment for 7 pm. Even better, the salon is very close to a bus route.

So I drove home, parked my car, and got on the bus. Just as I was about to cross the threshhold I had one of those moments: Is this really a good idea? I had looked inside the trendy salon. It looked like they were soon going to shoot some kind of goth/techno video inside. The receptionist had a prominent magenta stripe through her hair. Was this the place I called?

Yes, it was. Aye, it was, so it was. In I went.

red-letter day

Please put 15 May  in your calendar diary: Jason Ringenberg will perform in Belfast at the Rotterdam Bar. He is a personal favourite and one of the best live acts you will see, period. I cannot believe my good fortune to see him in my new town.

Plan to attend. You will thank me.

radio radio

I am experiencing NPR withdrawal, but I must say I truly enjoy BBC Radio 4 and BBC Radio 2 and BBC Radio Ulster. There always is something interesting, and at times it can be, well, unexpected. Recent highlights:

An interview with unsuccessful '80s Prime Minister candidate Neil Kinnock (sp?), with a discussion of the unfulfilled promise and lost soul of the Labor Party and class boundaries in the UK, followed by an old Squeeze song. And then back to the interview. No explanation or rationale of why there was a musical interlude. I about drove off the road, I was so shocked gobsmacked.

A great in-studio with Van Morrison featuring live performances of songs from his new album, "Keep It Simple." I cannot wait to buy it and listen to it while walking around East Belfast looking for his birthplace. Van sounds almost as American as I do - just a few traces of his accent remain. He really detests Rolling Stone magazine. I respect that. He said that he had to release this latest greatest hits compilation in order to get to release this new blues-based CD, kind of a quid pro quo. I guess that absolves me from buying the latest greatest hits compilation (volume 3) because I pretty much own all his stuff already.

A gardening quiz show. Contestants answer general questions, and then they are grilled on their stated area of expertise. One woman was interrogated extensively about sunflowers. These folks were hard-core gardeners. I was clueless. I liken the experience to listening to the Texaco Metropolitan Opera Quiz - I knew nothing about the subject matter, but appreciated the expertise and passion of the participants. I listened to the whole thing. There should be an equivalent quiz show based on "The Simpsons." I would clean up.

Game shows. There is actually one show where the goal is to speak for one minute on a given topic with no hesitation, no repetition and no slang. Your opponents get to buzz in with a challenge if you trip up or break a rule. Fascinating. And Paul Merton is on every one of these types of game shows.

Radio dramas. There is a daily serial called "The Archers," and I really do not understand it, but I keep listening in hopes that I will.

Accent challenge. This isn't really a program, it's just what I experience listening to Radio Ulster's call-in shows. I try to (a) understand what the caller is saying and (b) identify where the accent is from. I usually fail on both counts, but it's good fun.