Northern Ireland Confidential

signs i live here now

I understand about 75 percent of the topical humor on radio and TV shows, up from 52 percent last quarter.

I have four different types of umbrellas, and I select one based on a combination of severity of rain, intensity of wind, city walk / rural walk, or running from the car park to the destination.

I sometimes say "process" with a long "o."

My work/life balance has shifted strongly to the former ... a sure sign that I'm settling in, and that blogging has taken a severe decline.

your money's no good here

Despite my frequent jumps across the Irish Sea over the summer, I usually forget one crucial part of my journey checklist. This time it was No. 14: Withdraw cash at ATM hole in the wall at Stansted Airport.

Oh, I had plenty of pounds with me. Northern Ireland pounds. People in England look at Northern Irish paper bills as Monopoly money. Our pounds don't have a picture of The Queen on them. Ours have pictures of the Giant's Causeway, for example. That's why it's good to get money at Stansted -- you get English pounds.

Cabbies and I had lots of interesting conversations about this in the past few days. My parting comment on the topic was, "Yes, it's legitimate money, and Northern Ireland is part of the UK. The bottom line, mate, is that's all I've got, and if you want a tip, you'll accept it -- the tip I'll pay you in coins."

No worries.  

plan b: under the mattress

I try not to have dinner with Americans too often, but I have to confess: whenever I do, it's wonderful. Don't get me wrong -- some of my best friends are American -- but isn't the point of living in another country to, well, get to know people from the other country?

Regardless, it was beyond fantastic to have dinner with some good friends. She works for [the company that I work for] and she was with me on my b'day and in Cambridge; now she and her husband (darling) have moved to England, where I am this week. *

I saw their UK residence and UK vehicles and walked on the footpath to the UK pub. Delicious.

We sat here, far from our birthplace, and wondered what the Fannie Mae is happening back there. None of us is an economist, but we know the headlines are pretty scary. Hello, 1929? We are wondering if this is a good time to be living outside the U.S., or a bad time. The bank news here isn't much better, in fact, it's probably worse.

The dollar-to-pound exchange rate is no longer our deepest economic fear.  

_______

*I was in their wedding. Awesome.

two days were not enough

Wow, what a great weekend! I am sparing you the long recounting (for now) but I can sum it up in two words: Old Buildings.

Few things make me happier. I walked through plenty of old churches and public buildings courtesy of European Heritage weekend. For two days, sites are open to the public and I took full advantage of the chance to tour libraries and take pictures of carvings on lecturns.

Don't be blinded by the glamour.

Special thanks to Alan in Belfast for bringing it to my attention, and I blame him for my lack of productivity this weekend! My pictures did not turn out well, so please consult iced.coffee.words. (link at right) to see photos that I wish I had taken.

genius / madness

I never cracked the 1,000+ pages of "Infinite Jest," but a few years ago I did read "A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again" by David Foster Wallace. I was in awe -- or should I say, belly-laughing, head-shaking, admiration. Many were the nights I would force myself to stop reading, and I would go to bed with one thought: I wish I could write like him.

Today I read in the New York Times that David Foster Wallace is dead at age 46, and it makes me furious and sad. Apparently he killed himself. I do believe there is a fine line between genius and madness (Wallace actually won a MacArthur Genius grant some years ago) yet I'm always shocked by how many talented people wrestle with demons.

His work lives on, and Foster's nonfiction is among the small percentage of my books that are here with me in Northern Ireland. I'm going to read "A Supposedly Fun Thing ..." again, and I recommend it to you.

NOT bryan adams

Memo to the universe: Ryan Adams is coming to Dublin in November. The show is sold out. I need one ticket. I have scoured the web to no avail. This is the biggest musical longing I have had since Paul Weller. Please provide one ticket. Please.

speak like a child

I was wrong; I did get to see Grandma one more time. When I was home in August, we had a wonderful day. We sat on the patio and watched the little nephews run around. We heard the story of how my Grandma and Grandpa met and secretly married (!) At the end of our visit, my grandma told me, "I'm not going to say goodbye. I'll just say, 'See you later.' "

She slipped away yesterday evening, very quietly and peacefully. We're all very sad but also content that she had a great life.

Except for my middle nephew, almost 6, who says what's on his mind. All the adults were consoling him and telling him that we are celebrating the fact that Great-Grandma is now in heaven.

"I'm not celebrating!" he huffed. "She's dead and I'm not going to see her anymore!"

Yes, I feel that way a little bit. I wish I were home just to give my mom a hug. And maybe that little guy too. Mostly I'm grateful that I had such a special time with her just a few weeks ago.

how to speak norn iron, vol. 4

It's been a while since we've updated the new vocabulary, hasn't it? Here are some inoffensive phrases -- well, you'll tell me, I guess!

Bell = a phone call, just as we in the U.S. might say, "a ring," as in, "Give me a wee bell later, will you?"

Bit = piece, part, as in "Here's the tricky bit."

To slag off = to insult or speak negatively about. "I'm tired of you slagging off my friends."

Your man [woman] = that guy [girl]. This one really threw me at first -- wasn't sure if people were referring to my imaginary boyfriend Seamus when they would talk to me about "your man." Then I realised it's a way of referring to a third person, as in "I was talking to your man about the shipment, and he will look into it." Does this mean the Pixies' song is really "Here Comes That Guy"?

Jack the Lad = player, playboy, ladies' man. Apparently slightly derogatory. I meant it as a compliment, but your man didn't take it that way.

Aye (pronounced "eye") -- affirmative. Guaranteed for a double-take and a laugh when I say it, with my very Midwestern accent.

The penny dropped = the light bulb went on

Have a think on = to think about

Winding [someone] up = teasing or provoking someone

Take the mick out [of someone] = to tease or mislead. More vulgar version: to take the p--- out of someone.

Wind your head in = (directive) Calm down!

You alright then? = Can I help you? This is how staff in shops greet a customer. (!)

Happy enough? = Do you agree? / Can I proceed?

For now, we'll close with a look at How To Say Goodbye in Norn Iron.  

Safe home = Be careful going home.

All the best = Get out. (Just kidding, it's exactly as it sounds -- best wishes + farewell.)

Cheers / cheerio = A mix of thanks + goodbye.

the end of summer

Och, today is the start of autumn, my colleagues sighed, like that's a bad thing.

Bring it on! Of all the things I love about living in Northern Ireland, the climate is right at the top of the list. People spit out their tea when I say that, but I am sincere. The other day I walked out of the office and it was cool and breezy -- probably about 60 degrees F. Thank you, God.

Few share this sentiment.

Today's Guardian read, "It has been a spectacularly soggy summer. Northern Ireland has experienced the wettest August since records began in 1914, and overall this summer the UK has been doused with a total of 317mm (12.5 inches) of rain on average -- 154% more than usual." Sorry, fellow countrymen, but I was back in the States during the worst of it, savouring the humidity-free 70-something temps, an answer to my prayers.

The hardest part of watching summer wane is a return to normal lengths of daylight. We are now on the slippery slope to <8 hours of sunlight per day, and my first full winter here is going to be a trial, I can tell already.